A Day in the Life of Augustine Martin

Meet Augustin Martin.. Miami's favorite dad. He's an upstanding man of the community, with strong moral values, and an incredibly, strong work ethic. Like most men, he's got his moments where carnal sins tempt his core principles, but he always stays strong. He can be your father, neighbor, or even your boss. We all know this guy... Join us in exploring the adventures of a man that's omnipresent in our community. A fictional story of a true man that knows no boundaries in the world of faith... Augustin Martin's world.....

The morning quiet is quickly destroyed by the chilling sound, tumbling out of Augustin’s alarm clock. He rolls over with a boner hoping to find his wife next to him. No dice. From downstairs he can hear the garage door opening with his wife, in the family Lincoln Navigator, on the way to school with the kids. Unfazed, he pulls down his pajama pants and begins to rub one out to the image of his 8-year-old son’s 2nd-grade teacher. Augustin insists on being present at all PTA meetings.

Once the deed is done, he carefully cleans up each drop of semen that has come out of his peephole. Once the pants come up, he realizes to his great horror, that a drop made it out causing a stain on the front. Freaking out, he strips and puts on a fresh pair. Nothing worse than spending an entire day looking at a minuscule cum stain.

Augustin’s days are extremely lax. He makes a fortune selling life insurance to unsuspecting idiots who bought policies they’d never use. All of his clients trust him. With his quiet demeanor and church-loving life, he’s considered an upstanding man of the community. He’s always on time, and famous for his Sunday BBQs.

Augustin spends every morning on his computer. His first stop is always eBay. His account is filed under the name Religionismylife717 where he profiles himself as a retired homemaker from Ohio selling authentic, religious artifacts. He’s got candles blessed by the Pope in Rome, rosaries from Notre Dame in Paris, and religious statues from St. Patrick’s in New York. His buyers pay top dollar for his goods. Little do they know that he buys all of this stuff wholesale from some old lady in Hialeah. Last year he made $175 grand with this racket. The thought alone makes him incredibly horny. He pulls his pants down, and rubs another one out to pictures of post-pregnancy Christina Aguilera. He hasn’t even eaten breakfast yet.

Soon it’s time to leave the house, and run errands. Backing out of his driveway in his new Audi sedan, his loins burn in anticipation at the thought of banking Melissa; the 26 year old teller at his bank. He loves to pry into her private life, and ask details about her weekends as a go-go dancer at Mansion (He’s seen her Myspace page.)

Standing in front of her has him smiling from ear to ear. As she moves over to answer the phone, Augustin catches a glimpse of her supple thigh, and finds himself incredibly hard wondering what the hell else is going on underneath that ridiculously short skirt with the high slit. If he had to guess, it would be a black floss G-string barely covering a thong tan line. He can’t get his deposit slip out fast enough.

Once inside the safe confines of German engineering he puts on an Ace of Base CD. From the backseat he grabs his Titleist golf glove that he keeps for moments like this. Masturbation in the car is something he thoroughly enjoys. The golf glove trick? Something he picked up in college. Augustin doesn’t even play golf.

For the remainder of the day, Augustin drives around climaxing mundane chores like visiting Ace Hardware, picking up a single shirt at the dry cleaner, going to the post office for a book of Forever stamps and a pineapple smoothie. Stuck in a school zone, he decides to jack off to a cross-country team from some private school. He hesitates, wondering if they’re of age, but concludes that no harm done because it's only fantasy. Catholic guilt has yet to stop Augustin. He goes to confession once a month.

Once the kids are put to bed after a dinner spent planning another trip to Marco Island and debating the price of oil barrels, Augustin retreats to bed himself. His wife, freshly showered after a long day as a realtor in today’s shitty market, mounts him. She still looks pretty good at 49. He looks at her silently as his eyes dart to the night stand. On cue she puts on the pink mood wig and begins to give him kyak face. It’s on.

20 minutes later, Augustin gets up to check his eBay sales. Not bad. Mrs. Darlington in Sacramento just picked up another set of Holy Mary jasmine-scented candles. Encouraged by the brisk sales he pulls down his pants. Pulling hard on his nut sack he jacks off to Internet images of Black Beach Weekend in Daytona. He soon cleans up and retreats once again to bed, content with his perfect life.

Stay tuned for more…